Man, that thing is huge.Photo: iStockphoto

Drugs: They're not just for adorable kittens anymore. Saddled with the unending pressure to bore people all the time, opera singers are increasingly turning to performance-boosting drugs, the AP reports: "Singers often overuse steroids in the form of cortisone to control inflamed vocal cords — sometimes in amounts that can permanently impair their abilities, say performers and their doctors. Others drink too much. Still others snort cocaine, according to insiders."

Investigators reportedly became suspicious after a burly soprano tied Hank Aaron's career home-run record during a recent performance of Gaetano Donizetti's Lucia di Lammermoor.

Stressed Opera Singers Turn to Drugs [AP]

Marc Shaiman, Defender of the Innocent.Photo: Getty Images

When a crowd of hundreds lined up at the AMC Lincoln Square theater hours early for a free screening of Hairspray Monday night, everyone expected that some among them would not get in; after all, their passes — e-mailed to them by New Line through an evite.com promotion — said that seating was first-come, first-served. It was a real surprise, though, when no one got in, and a bigger surprise when the theater reportedly called the police to help disperse the angry crowd of show-tune- and freebie-loving fans. (Apparently, a separate promotion, for hair-salon employees, packed the house.) Needless to say, the complaints were flying on the Broadway message boards almost immediately.

Marc Shaiman to the rescue!

Dreamgirl? Aida? Who can keep up?Photo: Getty Images

Maybe Beyoncé's shoeless cameo at Bergdorf Goodman last week was in preparation for a barefooted movie role: According to Jim Hill's media blog, the pop star might play as Aida in Disney's new screen adaptation of the hit musical.

As always, the theater-crazed online community has plenty to say. There's a camp lobbying for the original Broadway cast to reprise their roles, but as any theater junkie knows, Disney will be looking for a big-name cast to light up the marquee. Thus, the debate over Beyoncé stepping in to fill the role created by Tony-winning original Aida Heather Headley rages undiminished.

Unlikely patriot: Ebersole's Big Edie.Photo: Joan Marcus/Courtesy of Grey Gardens

Christine Ebersole just got comfortable with her Tony, execs just announced she'll leave the New York stage in October to headline the show on London's West End, and (already!) the online community is ushering Ebersole out the door and searching for her replacement.

There are several breeds of suggestion percolating: the insightful, the eager, the irrelevant, and the entirely idiotic. A string of reasonable Broadway alternatives flooded the boards, from Kristen Chenoweth or Donna Murphy to Victoria Clark and understudy Maureen Moore.

They proclaimed, variously: Murphy "is an awful choice. She has absolutely no resemblance to Little Edie." Chenoweth is "young looking." And "Clark shouldn't be wasted at the Walter Kerr Theatre." Poster ljay898 wants to "save Victoria for reprising her amazing performance as Sally Durant Plummer — another brilliant role."

Liev Schreiber talks the talk. Photo: Joan Marcus/Courtesy of Talk Radio

Now that Tonys fever has died down, most of the vitriol in theater-world circles has shifted to Liev Schreiber, who appears to be taking a little-publicized leave of absence from his celebrated role in Talk Radio after a reported "secret" marriage to Naomi Watts last week.

One poster on Talkin' Broadway's All That Chat's mere mention of having decided to see the show despite Schreiber's absence launched a flurry of discussion about the undesirability of his poor understudy, who we think deserves a medal simply for opting not to flee the country. (The show is scheduled to close June 18.)

Courtesy of [title of show]

Hunter Bell, book writer for the hit Off-Broadway making-a-musical musical [title of show], is as disappointed in the Tony Award broadcast as the rest of us. (Those who watched, anyway; the awards got their lowest rating since 1992.) The difference is, he's got some ideas on how to change them for the better — and we love them:

My feeling is let's start with the premise no one is watching. Maybe low expectations, but a place to start... I just think it is weird to think that having Anne Heche will make this huge difference in the numbers... Maybe try to make it the coolest musical theatre scene show and then others will stumble and watch. Right now it seems like in trying to get a bigger audience, they're still not watching and your built in fan base just gets bummed we have to watch the 8th replacement Sally Bowles.

Even better, Bell volunteers himself and his [title of show] co-writer, Jeff Bowen, to "throw in a few zingers." But we say, why not get these guys to write the whole show next year? They're smart, they're irreverent, they know their way around a good song, and they'd mix a great love for the theater with strong opinions about what currently sucks on Broadway. Now that's an awards show we would watch.

Opinions are like … [[title of show] blog]

Crowded house: the many producers of Spring Awakening onstage.Photo: Getty Images

What the theater bloggers (and chatters) are all in a dither about this week:

The ever-opinionated posters on Talkin’ Broadway’s All That Chat wasted no time griping about the Tonys last night. Among the chatters' biggest complaints? Fantasia, Fantasia, Fantasia. In response to her out-of-character, “bare” stage performance, poster AnyaS wrote, “Maybe Simon, Paula, and Randy are right to act as if Broadway is easy and anyone who tries it will be easily embraced.” Or, as The Playgoer — who also live-blogged — wisely asked, “So wait: Legally Blonde doesn't get a spot, but the year-old Color Purple does, thanks to American Idol–crowned Fantasia?”

The cast of soon-to-close Broadway musical The Pirate Queen.Photo: Joan Marcus/Courtesy of The Pirate Queen

What the theater bloggers (and chatters) are all in a dither about this week:

Not to be distracted by this week's announcement of The Pirate Queen’s pending doom or even the delayed arrival of the Curtains soundtrack from Amazon, the loyal posters of All That Chat wasted no time sounding off on Robert Elisberg’s HuffPo piece "Why The Tony Awards Are Flopping on TV".

In response to Elisberg’s somewhat West Coast perspective that the Tonys simply aren’t entertaining, Talkin' Broadway poster fromthetop argued that musical-crazed kids nowhere near New York are actually the ones we can count on to keep the industry alive: “They know composers and styles in a way I didn't when I was 15, from Sondheim to Jason Robert Brown. They quote lyrics. They ask for show tickets for Christmas. They got to cast Grease on tv.”

The rest pointed out Elisberg’s missteps but nodded to his general idea. Another poster, Makeitnew, took things further, saying that even a better-produced show couldn’t help the Tonys but that instead, all the actors holed up in New York just need to get out and meet America.

Our favorite came from perfectlyfrank, who suggested taking the mikes from trained performers and putting them in the hands of ABC’s brightest stars: “Imagine if the talents from top-rated shows like Grey's Anatomy, Ugly Betty, and American Idol were featured performing standards from Broadway shows or talking about shows they've recently seen and why they enjoyed them.” We can imagine it, and for the record, we’d pay good money to see Alex Karev belt out "Oklahoma." —Jocelyn Guest

Boyd Gaines, "the male Cherry Jones."Paul Kolnik/Courtesy of Journey’s End

What the theater bloggers (and chatters) are all in a dither about this week:

The Tony nominations were announced this week, and Talkin' Broadway's All That Chat gang immediately sprang into action, though their targets were a bit surprising.

For example, poster Castro set off the biggest debate decrying Jason Taylor's lighting nom for Journey's End ("My eyes were so strained trying to watch this show I could hardly keep them open") while whyohwhyoh, after blasting Spring Awakening ("a tuneless disaster, something that a college student might write"), reserved his biggest grudge for … Boyd Gaines?

I want to know where the body is buried because the terminally bland Boyd Gaines is up once again for a TONY for his horrendous performance in the over-rated Journey's End. He's become the male Cherry Jones — no matter what he does, he gets a nom.

Dead City, spurned by the Drama Desk.Photo: Jim Baldassare, courtesy of New Georges

What the theater bloggers are all in a dither about this week:

The Drama Desk nominees were announced last week, leading Lunch Truck’s Anthony King to ponder the irony of earning two nods for his much-beloved Gutenberg! the same day it posted closing notices. Meanwhile, Sheila Callaghan (author of last year’s acclaimed Dead City, directed by Daniella Topol) notes one detail:

Anyone else notice that not one female playwright or female director made the 2007 list of Drama Desk nominees? Maybe it's because no females were putting up plays in New York this year. Oh wait. Nevermind.