It is a dearly held belief among many young, city-dwelling adults that the threshold to adolescence is paved with gangsta rap, slasher flicks, and hard-core pornography. Like most adults, these people have no clue what’s happening with kids today. The great tradition of clean-cut teenage entertainment — long elbowed to the pop-culture margins by the likes of James Dean, Cheech and Chong, and Kurt Cobain — has roared back to life in the digital age, fueled by tweens with disposable allowances and high-speed Internet connections. And fascinatingly, it has spawned a new breed of young stars: the Goody-Goodies. This slideshow presents the top ten churchgoing, non-drinking, promise-ring-wearing singer-actors from inside and outside the Disney universe — along with their great shames and potential for corruption. You probably know Miley Cyrus, the 15-year-old Hannah Montana star with so wholesome an image that Vanity Fair created an uproar merely by publishing a picture of her (um) bare back. Before you start pooh-poohing the goody-goody lifestyle, just remember: You’re old, and no one cares what you think anyhow. —Nick Catucci

With the release today of What Happens in Vegas…, the Cameron Diaz–Ashton Kutcher comedy that proves romance isn't dead in American cinema ("There isn’t anything to say other than to note its insulting ugliness and ineptitude" —Manohla Dargis), we see that Hollywood has once and for all moved past its once blinkered view of movie titles — that they must be a funny pun or a witty turn of phrase, or the name of the main character in the movie, or come from a deathless line of dialogue, or Shakespeare/the Bible, or maybe at worst a classic-rock song lyric. What Happens in Vegas… signifies that it is totally okay for a screenwriter to think of just a thing that people say — maybe sort of an advertising catchphrase! — and then write an entire movie around it.

Well, why stop with What Happens in Vegas…? Here are ten other sayings we hope Hollywood adapts into movies soon. Feel free to borrow our pitches, after the jump!

Look, there's no disputing that Madonna is the consummate music-video artist of our time. She's an earth-mother-dominatrix-cowgirl chameleon, etc., etc. "Vogue"! "Express Yourself"! "Don't Tell Me"! But as attested by the god-awful video attached to "4 Minutes to Save the World" — another gratuitous leotard, artless room-morphing effects, skeevy cougar action with JT, that Botoxy grimace — Madge can pinch out some crappy videos, indeed. Was she pressed for time? Out of obscure artists and motifs to cleverly pay homage to/rip off? Kinda bored? With great love and admiration, we present Mrs. Ciccone-Ritchie's Five Worst Videos of All Time.

Today sees the release of Accelerate, the album a few charitable critics are hailing as R.E.M.'s return to form after a decade-long funk. We're not convinced; yes, it's better than their previous three, but give us some guitar lessons and a week in the studio and we're pretty sure we could outdo Around the Sun too. Will Athens' finest ever recover and make a record to stand alongside their early-career best? All of the artists on our list of Ten Terrible Musical Slumps did it, so sure, why not?

Fall Out Boy's noble quest to reach Antarctica, high-five a penguin, and set a world record may have ended ingloriously, but the band deserves recognition for how straight-faced they played their stunt, even though we're (almost) sure they realized how hilarious the entire idea was. The journey to Antarctica had a rare, almost magical combination of ridiculousness and awesomeness that few bands attain, and so there's no shame in the band's weather-related failure to see a Tauntaun up close.

Hilarious shenanigans — from the Beastie Boys breaking into Chuck Eddy’s hotel room, to the Rolling Stones’ fifteen-foot inflatable onstage penis, to Dylan’s conversion to Christianity — have always been part of rock and roll. So have attempted shenanigans whose outcomes range from lame to disastrous. After the jump, we've compiled ten rock-and-roll stunts that proved even less impressive than Pete Wentz's journey to Antarctic ignominy.

Last night's series finale of The Wire took great care to tie up a whole lot of loose ends and answer a whole bunch of nagging questions. Thanks to the events of the finale — and especially the montage at the end — we know that McNulty and Freamon lose their jobs, but McNulty is at least temporarily reconciled with Beadie; that Carcetti is elected governor and Nerese replaces him as mayor; that Valchek replaces Daniels as commissioner and Daniels winds up a public defender; that Slim Charles and Fat Face Rick seem to have taken over the Co-op's connection with the Greek; and that Scott Templeton wins a Pulitzer.

But one of the great pleasures of The Wire has always been the rich and novelistic details of plot and character, and over five seasons and 60 hours of TV, a lot of questions were raised. Some of them just weren't answered by this finale, as conscientious as it was. So we're going to ask. We've sent this list to David Simon, and we'll see if he writes back to drop us a few hints. Weigh in with your thoughts in the comments, and ask a few questions of your own.

Usually, our TV and movie heroes, when they die, get dramatic, noble deaths. Think Titanic's Jack giving his life to save his Rose, or Boromir taking a dozen arrows to the chest to protect the hobbits, or Charlie using his last breath to warn Desmond it's NOT PENNY'S BOAT. But every once in a while someone audiences have grown to love is dispatched in a disappointing, stupid, or downright ridiculous fashion — as happened to a certain beloved character on a certain beloved HBO drama recently. (Spoilers, obviously!) Vulture takes a look at ten other characters whose ignominious deaths made us shake our heads and think, He deserved better.

Watching our favorite spandex-clad super-warriors of American Gladiators the past few weeks, we've been treated by NBC wunderkind Ben Silverman to a preview of the network's upcoming Knight Rider remake. Gladiators? Knight Rider? Rambo tearing up the multiplex? It's the eighties all over again!

Given that Silverman's recipe for invigorating NBC is to pillage the glorious recent past — and given that Gladiators' ratings thus far suggest the strategy is totally successful — we thought we'd offer the tanned, gleaming genius some advice on what other shows he might nab from the era of big dreams and bigger hair.

As we're sure you're aware, in the new film Teeth, Jess Weixler plays Dawn, a high-school student with a fanged, carnivorous vagina that exacts bloody revenge on all males who dare go near it. Terrifying? Certainly. It almost made us ready to declare this the Season of the Vadge. But is Teeth's dentata the scariest movie vagina of all time? Not even close!

The New York Daily News is steamed today about Hollywood's repeated destruction of our city in film. We're not altogether sure what they're so upset over, since we think movies like I Am Legend and Cloverfield provide a nice reality check on Gotham–glorifying entertainment like Sex and the City and Gossip Girl. (Take heed, prospective Manhattanites: It's not all promiscuous sex and debutante balls for us New Yorkers — sometimes we have zombie plagues and deadly monster attacks.) Still, the Daily News is asking filmmakers to consider trashing another city for once, and that we can definitely get behind. After the jump, our list of the ten American cities we'd most like to see reduced to an on-screen crater.