Y-3 Has Them Falling Out of Their Seats

From left, Fabiola Beracasa, Cuba Gooding Jr., and Tinsley Mortimer.Photo: WireImage
Everyone in our section spent the time leading up to the show shifting around and complaining about the knees jabbing them in the back and the three inches of bleacher they were allotted. "I'm scared," the man next to us said as we perched on the very edge of the bench, praying that all those squats we've been doing have built up our thighs enough so that we could hold on for twenty minutes without falling into the gaping trench between the rows.
Speaking of falling, it may not have been the best idea to turn out the lights in the gym, especially when booze was on the menu, because someone fell ass over teakettle off the bleachers and onto the hardwood at least six feet below. The man in question managed to walk off the court to scattered applause but it was kind of scary for us and at the very least kind of embarrassing for him.
We couldn't tell how he took it, exactly, since we were separated from that side of the audience by the court itself. That made it tough to see who was sitting over there, unless they were standing by Paper's Mickey Boardman, who was smartly providing his own light source with a glam gold-sequined cardigan. We know that French soccer star Zinedine "Head-Butt" Zidane was there, thanks to the applause that greeted his entrance. But the rest of the celebs were cloaked in darkness and mystery, which is actually just the way we like them. Reliable sources tell us that, had we been able to pierce the gloom, we would have seen such luminaries as Justin Theroux, Cuba Gooding Jr., Fashion Week fave Russell Simmons, and, of course, the usual wide selection of socialites, including Tinsley Mortimer. The Times claims Tinsley isn't getting invited to nearly as many shows anymore, but you'd never know it that girl shows up everywhere.
Other things we learned at the show include the following: It's hard to work it on a people mover. The show's raised runway was set up in a U-shape on the basketball court, but the portion down under the basket wasn't actually a catwalk. Fitting the collection's athletic look, it was a long treadmill on which the models glided. (We would have made them run, but they probably get enough exercise.) Considering we're the ones who can't seem to exit the people mover at any airport without stumbling and then praying that no one saw us come that close to totally biting it, it did us some good to see people who walk for a living come dangerously close to pulling the same move. The Fug Girls
Watch a slideshow of the Y-3 collection.

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