Last night, the celebrities performed their international duties, allowing themselves to be prodded down the red carpet like bedazzled cattle on parade for our unabashed sass and scrutiny. Along the way they inevitably had to interact with sweaty everyman Ryan Seacrest, who, along with inquiring about Jessica Alba's breast-feeding plans and trampling on the name of the designer of Keri Russell's dress (Nina Ricci), also managed to score a subtle fuckup on the matter of Anne Hathaway's Marchesa number. As Marchesa designer Georgina Chapman is dating mogul Harvey Weinstein, on the red carpet one really should be careful of what one says about the frocks.

Seacrest: [Trying to describe the gown] It's like this was a bouquet but no stems...

Hathaway: [Mildly condescending] I like to call it a diaphanous sheath, but thank you.

Seacrest: [Eyes fill with tears] You're right. I should never say that on national television.