The front row at the show, in fact, was chockablock with women we've seen before. A fresh–from–Max Azria Rose McGowan spent most of the show chattering to Fern Mallis, who surely must have wanted to concentrate on the clothes. Aisha Tyler gnawed violently on a piece of gum the whole time, and gave the line an extremely enthusiastic hand. Emily Deschanel chatted up Mandy Moore. Perhaps they were talking about how hard it is to be really tall and good-looking? The only new-to-the-tents starlet we spotted was Eliza Dushku. "You know her, she was in The Terminator!" we overheard someone explaining. Close: She was in True Lies with Arnold, but we would have gone with Buffy or Bring It On, ourselves. Dushku looked very pretty, but a bit matchy-matchy in a pinkish dress with a giant matching handbag and matching shoes. Maybe she was on her way to a stint as a bridesmaid? Notably, we had to walk by her a few times as we looked for our own seat, and every time we squeezed past, she was talking about a different designer, none of whom worked for Ports 1961. Give that girl better talking points! But be that as it may, all of the women seemed in quite good spirits during the show, chatting and laughing throughout, and not in the "Wow, that is cracked out" kind of way.

One reaction we would have liked to have seen from them would have been to the show's favors, which were … knitted horns on necklaces, punctuated with buttons? We don't know how else to explain them. When the guy sitting next to us opened his gift bag, he exclaimed, "Great! You never know when you're gonna need one of whatever the fuck this is!" And we couldn't have said it better ourselves. —The Fug Girls

Browse a slideshow of the Ports 1961 collection.