Until the end of the week, the front rows of the Milan shows were a lovely reminder celebrities exist in nationalities other than American. Just because we don't know who they are and Us Weekly doesn't explain why they're "just like us" doesn't mean they're not famous. And then Lindsay Lohan and Fergie showed up and our hopes that all these new celebrities would really catch on were dashed. Here's a roster of who sat in row one in Milan this season:

Versace:
• Patrick Dempsey, American, Versace model, actor whose roles include the foxy doctor on Grey's Anatomy
• Megan Fox, American, actress whose roles include a part in Transformers, likened to Angelina Jolie

DSquared:
• Fergie, American, musical "artist," would "possibly" consider launching her own fashion line

Dolce & Gabbana:
• Fergie, can't decide between Barack or Hillary
• Linsday Lohan, American, actress, musical "artist," wannabe handbag and shoe designer
• Sheryl Crow, American, musical artist
• Monica Bellucci, Italian, model, actress whose previous roles include The Passion Of The Christ
• Fanny Ardant, French, actress who's appeared in more than 50 films
• Naomi Campbell, British, diplomat, model who surprised London Fashion Week by walking for Kisa

Roberto Cavalli:
• Carolina Kostner, Italian, two-time defending European figure-skating champion
• Michelle Yeoh, Chinese, actress who boasts three movies coming out this year, including one in which she stars opposite Vin Diesel (apparently he's still around)
• Petra Nemcova, Czech, supermodel who started the Happy Hearts Fund to help victims of the 2004 tsunami, which she was injured in
Inés Sastre, Italian, face of Lancôme, actress currently filming a comedy in Italy
• Tasha De Vasconcelos, African, model, actress currently filming a comedy she calls "sort of the European version of American Sweetheart."
• Eva Herzigova, Czech, model, actress, swimsuit designer who has put her line on hold because of her new baby

Ferragamo:
• Tang Wei, Chinese, actress who starred in Ang Lee's "Lust, Caution," fashion show virgin
• Roberto Bolle, Italian, ballet dancer, new face of Ferragamo, paparazzi magnet

Blumarine:
• Anggun, Indonesian, singer, will perform duets when egged on by journalists
• Noa, Israeli, singer, performed duet with Anggun

Moschino Cheap & Chic:
• Alexa Chung, British, former model, TV hostess, noted fashionista whose style icon is Geri Halliwell

Alberta Ferretti:
• Jessica Joffe, model, writer, former Observer assistant
• Bettina Zimmermann, German, actress, hottie
• Lavinia Borromeo, aristocrat, wife of John Elkann (yes, they're as disgustingly beautiful and rich as you imagine) of Fiat lineage
• Ginevra Elkann, film director, Lavinia's sister-in-law hence also of Fiat lineage