Ashton Kutcher quite literally comes apart for Mario Testino on the cover of V mag's spring issue, on stands today. Inside, he further opens up in an article interestingly titled “I’m Not Real.” Some choice highlights:

• Kutcher came up with the cover concept while watching a Gatorade commercial. “I was watching one of those Gatorade commercials where they had a guy on a treadmill, and they’re testing to see what his physical abilities are. I had this idea: What did the creator — God or whatever — make you for? Maybe we’re all doing exactly what we’re supposed to be doing, and we’re all actually robots."

• Despite what birth certificates may say, he doesn’t believe he’s with an older woman. “I don’t believe that souls have an age. I honestly never think about it. If it wasn’t shoved in my face on a daily basis by magazines or people asking questions like this, I don’t think I would even have an awareness of it."

• Kutcher's still knee-deep in Kabbalah. “It’s not like a religion. It’s not something you join, it’s not a club. So the notion of leaving or going — it doesn’t really have that. It’s a personal choice. That’s a complicated answer; the real answer is that no, I haven’t defected. I haven’t had the chip uninstalled." There's a chip? We're noticing a theme here. —Kendall Herbst