Poor Kelly Killoren Bensimon. You'd think that, while she's no longer editing Elle Accessories or married to photog Gilles Bensimon, she would have some time to herself. You know, just a little she time. But no: Kelly told us last night at a Cointreau-sponsored Dita Von Teese burlesque performance at the Orensanz Center that she has no time for herself. "Me, time?" she gaped, giving us a "What kind of dimwit are you?" look. "What's that? If you walked in my shoes one day, you'd be like, 'I can't take it.' It's, like, insane." We politely asked Kelly to rough out her daily schedule for us to actually prove that she is New York City's most bedraggled and beaten-down mom of two. And, we must admit, just listening to Kelly's itinerary wearied us and made us want to be one of those carefree South Bronx mamas toting four kids and a Salvation Army stroller on the 6 train.

Brace yourself for this: "Wake up, eat oranges every morning. If I'm going to ride my horse in Riverdale, I have to stir it with granola. Then I come back, and I'm e-mailing and texting like crazy. Then I take a shower, and I have a business lunch. Then I'm interviewing somebody or I'm writing an article for somebody. Then I pick up my kids from school and take them to after-school activities, and then I bring them home and we have dinner, and then I go out."

Speaking of horses, we asked Kelly if she'd be game to monitor the horse-drawn-carriage industry for animal cruelty, should Mayor Bloomberg offer her a post. "Absolutely," she said, in a show of remarkable stoicism. "I would absolutely go there with a vet and see what the story was and that they all had their shoes." Since we were enjoying the horse talk so much, we asked Kelly if she was excited for the upcoming Broadway opening of the hot West End production of Equus. Here, Kelly dissolved into exhausted, "What's the point of it all?" laughter. What was so funny, we asked. A bright, wistful gleam came into her eyes. "A Chorus Line," she said. "That's what I want to see." If only she had the time. — Tim Murphy