Full disclosure: We never got what the big deal was about "Umbrella." Sure, sure, it was the "song of the summer" last year or whatever. But honestly, if we wanted to hear a three-minute long echo set to music, we'd holler into the Grand Canyon holding a boom box. But she seems sweet enough and she gives awfully good hair, so we let it go. She stayed on her side of the room; we stayed on our side. Now, courtesy of ExtraTV, comes this announcement:

Conquering the music world is just the beginning for Rihanna, she admitted, "Designing my own fashion line is definitely on my agenda…"

This news is disturbing for many reasons, all of which begin and end with a particularly horrid outfit, which involves wristicuffs, the "necklace as cleavage" effect, the jacket which was possibly constructed by a sweatshop made up of the chorus line from Thriller. (And … are those campaign buttons on her boots?)

But that's not all!

There have been hats. My God, have there been hats.

So, sorry Ri, we were undecided about "Umbrella," but we're voting "no" on the clothing line — and we're using one of the campaign buttons from your shoes. But, again, love what you're doing with your hair. —Noelle Hancock

Rihanna's Fashion Future [Extra]