We'd heard rumblings, but now an e-mail comes from deep within Condé's gilded cubicles:

Hi guys,

Sorry for the mass email. Two of the three assistants in Anna Wintour's office are leaving soon and Conde Nast is starting to look for candidates. If you know of anyone that may be interested in applying have them shoot me an email and I can put them in touch with the right person in HR.

Some experience in fashion or media is good. Smart, well-educated, calm, etc...

Let me know if you can think of anyone.

Thanks!

Wait — someone in media is actually hiring?! That's great! If you know the story behind the departures, you know where to find us. But please, do not send anymore resumes. Though we may know an awful lot about Condé Nast, we do not in fact work for the HR department.