Dearest Drew,

We understand where you were going with this outfit. For it was not necessarily ill-conceived, just poorly executed. The attempt at layering is not unlike the styling seen in many a Marc by Marc Jacobs show. But sadly, you've gone horribly wrong with the proportions. The oversize dress looks like a badly fitted wearable towel, completely sapping you of your shape. The T-shirt looks like a garbage bag. And the boots, oh the boots! You're not going to Iraq, you're walking down the street in L.A. Let the ankles breathe. And as a general rule, when you get dressed in the morning, if you look in the mirror and do a double take to make sure you're staring at yourself and not a picnic mat, maybe change.

Reliving the nineties grunge movement is great. But this is not the way.

Love always,

The Cut

At the 2009 Scholastic Art & Writing Awards this morning, Zac Posen described the resort collection he showed this week in New York as "market driven." He said he doesn't pay attention to trends, and isn't afraid to put on shows that will get noticed, if not solely for the clothes. Take his fall 2009 collection, for which he had five pianists play live on the runway, and which included clothes he described as "really far out there and close to costume" and "everything that a New York fashion editor is not looking for." He continued, "There's definitely fashion editors who get really bothered by the fact that I'm out and about and promoting my work. It's not what they desire as 'cool,' or what they think is interesting, and it probably de-myths their own existence." Perhaps hinting at his spring 2010 line, he said he wants to make a wearable collection next and cited Facebook as an inspiration.

Posen also confirmed to us he's working on a scripted television show. The project is still in the very early stages. When asked if he's writing it himself, he replied, "I'm not a script-writer, but I'm very interested in writing in the future, whether it's a book or for a film or theater."

Eve debuted a new hairstyle at the House of Harlow, Clandestine Industries, and Switch Boutique Fashion Show in Hollywood last night, apparently inspired by the half-shaved do popularized by Alice Dellal (and more recently, Cassie). Except rather than shave that section of her head completely, Eve has adorned it with short tufts of hair. And a braid.

What do you find more striking — her leather vest and necklaces, or the hair?

SKIN
• Gwyneth Paltrow appeared on the Late Show With Conan O'Brien last night with some amazingly shiny legs. Is that what "GOOP" really looks like? [Lainey Gossip]

FRAGRANCE
• Gwen Stefani's coming out with a fall version of her Harajuku Girls fragrance set. Each of the five scents comes in a bottle that looks like a Harajuku Girl doll, which will wear limited-edition fall outfits in the new collection. The scents will remain unchanged. [WWD]

HAIR
• L'Oréal's new Homme Centers line will be stocked in male-friendly corners of salons. Oh please — since when are men so afraid of hair product? [WWD]

MAKEUP
• Models at Jason Wu's resort show wore coral lips, and almost no eye makeup. Makeup-trend forecasters predict next spring's looks will be all about lips. [Beauty Counter/Style.com]

• Lancôme launched its first vibrating mascara last year. Their latest foray in the world of vibrating makeup tools is an oscillating lash primer that promises to lengthen lashes. [Spoiled Pretty]

The smell of patchouli brings many of us back to our college days: the smoking, guitar-strumming, unwashed roommates with propensities to play bongos. But recently, the familiar smell has had a revival, courtesy of several upscale beauty brands. Normally, a rich, deep scent that seems more suitable for the winter months, patchouli has appeared in many products for spring. To test the likability of patchouli — you either love it or hate it — we decided to conduct an unscientific poll of five new items on the market right now.

We took a candle, a men's aftershave, shower gel, a bar of soap, and perfume to the streets and asked random subjects to sniff and react. Would they use it? What did the smell remind them of? Did they like it? And, most important of all, would they date someone who used it? The results showed that our older testers were more nostalgic about the scent (Woodstock!), while many of the younger ones found it too strong or mature. Find out below what they thought of the heady scent.

Just as predicted, Versace CEO Giancarlo di Risio resigned today. Versace did not give a reason for Di Risio's departure, but rumors have swirled for some time that he had clashed with Donatella Versace over budget as the house succumbed to losses in the recession. Di Risio will stay on temporarily to ensure a "smooth transitional period" for the label. Versace has not named a successor. Hopefully they can keep their finances on track. [Reuters]

You won't be able to find Max Factor at the drug store after this year. Procter & Gamble Co. announced it will discontinue distribution of the century-old brand in the United States in early 2010, due to small sales in an oversaturated American beauty market. Instead, P&G will turn its attention to building up Cover Girl domestically while continuing to sell Max Factor abroad, where it is reportedly a top-selling brand in twenty countries including big markets like Russia and the United Kingdom. Truly, we'll miss seeing the products in drug stores like Duane Reade and Wal-Mart — they always had the brightest eye shadows for $3.99 — not that we used it, anyway.

Max Factor Kisses U.S. Goodbye [WSJ]

Slideshows of the 2010 resort (or "cruise" as it's outdatedly known) collections are trickling in. Don't miss our slideshows of the latest.

ADAM
Bottega Veneta
Chanel

Astronauts are having a moment. Not hot, new young astronauts, but those who made history decades ago. Take for instance, the new Louis Vuitton campaign starring Buzz Aldrin, Sally Ride, and Jim Lovell. The ads mark the 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11. Louis Vuitton has also launched a spiffy new website to drum up excitement for their new (space) faces. Buzz Aldrin's fashion prowess extends beyond the Louis Vuitton brand to Omega watches. Earlier this week he appeared in the Omega store on Fifth Avenue to help launch the new, limited-edition Speedmaster Apollo 11 Moon Watch. Apparently he wore a Speedmaster on the moon, making it the first and only moonwalking timepiece.

The rise of astronauts in the fashion spotlight makes perfect sense considering the retro-futuristic influences of the fall collections. Balmain, Karl Lagerfeld, and Preen all showed clothes that looked to be inspired by the Jetsons or old Star Trek costumes. And now, Louis Vuitton and Omega are banking on the faces of the moon to sell product. Thus, we may conclude that astronauts are hot right now. Mostly Buzz Aldrin, but still.

Astronaut Buzz Aldrin Lands at the Omega Store in New York City [VF]
New Vuitton Ad Campaign: The Right Stuff? [WSJ]
Related: Retro-Futurism Condones Dressing Like a Space Cadet

• Major breaking news: Anna Wintour took her sunglasses off during the Jason Wu resort show yesterday. André Leon Talley, meanwhile, looked "violently mismatched." [NYP]

• Heidi Klum guest edited 140 pages of the new German Vogue. [Off the Rack/People]

• Teresa Giudice of the Real Housewives of New Jersey launched a line of clothing and accessories that say things like "Delicious" and "Happy Wife, Happy Life." She thinks she has fans who are clamoring for products with her catchphrases. [Jezebel]

• Teen Vogue shot some models on the set of a Victoria's Secret underwear shoot. Ironically, this footage seems perfectly suited to a men's magazine. [Teen Vogue]

• Just so you know, Hermès boxer shorts cost $340. [FWD]

• Ex-Hills chick Audrina Patridge is the new face of the Carl's Jr. fast-food chain, a role once occupied by Paris Hilton. [Marc Malkin/E]

Esteban Cortazar may be out at Emanuel Ungaro after clashing with management over marketing strategy, WWD reports. Apparently, Ungaro CEO Mounir Moufarrige is keen to revive the label's ad campaigns with a celebrity face, and had been in talks with about six famous potentials, Lindsay Lohan among them. So this explains the rumors that surfaced earlier this week about Lindsay being considered for a creative consulting role with the house. But according to WWD, the celebrity Ungaro is looking to hire would have no creative input, but just pose for the ad campaigns.

A Shaded View on Fashion reports that a major designer shuffle at the world's top houses is about to occur. Rumor has it Karl Lagerfeld did not renew his contract with Chanel. Lanvin designer Alber Elbaz will reportedly take the reigns from Karl at Chanel, and ex–Nina Ricci designer Olivier Theyskens will replace Alber at Lanvin. Go ahead and freak the hell out. Now, these are just rumors, but in a way, it makes sense. Olivier could do marvelous things at Lanvin, and Alber would be a great fit for Chanel. And Karl? He is 75 years old — he could be on the verge of retirement. But Karl loves to work, so that's hard to imagine. Maybe, just maybe, he'll pursue his life's second calling: show business. First he'll do the voice-over for that French animated movie, then he'll get a bit part in a movie, then a supporting role, then an Oscar nomination, then maybe even Broadway. His name in lights! We see it. As long as he stays away from Ugly Betty cameos. Stay tuned for more developments on these insane rumors.

Fashion Rumour Karl did not sign his contract, rumour has it..... [A Shaded View on Fashion via Pipeline/Refinery 29]

Sometimes shimmer sticks can transform women into glittery Studio 54 dancers. But Bobbi Brown's new limited-edition Shimmer Brick for Body gives you a healthy, bronzy glow that doesn't look too disco. It comes with three metallic neutrals that are lightweight, silky, and don't turn clothes into a speckled mess. While you can apply this over your face, arms, legs, and décolleté, we must say that a little goes a long way. It actually works so well, we wonder why Brown even bothered launching the Illuminating Bronzing Powders.

$75 at Bloomingdale's, 1000 Third Ave., at 59th St.; 212-705-2000.