warnings

ALERT: Chocolate Fountain in the Tents Causing Spillage

Chambord is sponsoring Fashion Week for yet another season, only this time they’ve gotten creative. Rather than pepper the tents with Chambord mini-bottles, they’ve opened a booth in the northeast corner with a bold, innovative, and daring attraction: a chocolate fountain. While ZonePerfect doles out diet bars on trays with long toothpicks on the other side of the tents, Chambord is daring to give fashion people what they really need. You know what we’re talking about — calories.

Yet when we ventured in this afternoon, no one was there. A pretty girl of modelesque proportions timidly approached. “Is that chocolate!” she said, eyes wide. “I really shouldn’t. But I will.” She headed straight for the gushing spout of liquid calories, which was flanked by a tin of long pretzels and a tray of puffy marshmallows and — gasp — pound cake. Spillage is a cause for concern. “Most people are full-force in here,” a Chambord rep told us. “I mean, they come in in like, their full couture and just, like, dip in the chocolate.” Her colleague added, “Someone, actually, just before, she spilled on a brown dress, she said it was okay because it was brown. And it was worth it.” Mostly people sully scarves, but near-catastrophes occur constantly. “We see a lot of white coats. Long, beautiful white coats, and I’m petrified, so I warn them especially to be careful,” the rep said. No furs have come under fire yet. “But they walk away and it’s quite possible.”

ALERT: Chocolate Fountain in the Tents Causing Spillage