This week, The Wall Street Journal columnist Tina Gaudoin complained to Philip Treacy about the sad state of affairs in which today's hats apparently find themselves. Gaudoin was not a fan of Kate Middleton's headpiece at the Derby Festival ("Can one age 20 years in six weeks? Well, she patently has"), nor is she amused by the "preposterous" hats worn by, in Treacy's words, "day trippers." (We're not totally sure what that expression means, but there's a good chance he's referring to folks like this.)

There are many problems with today's hats, according to Gaudoin, but apparently the biggest one is that people aren't willing to pay tons of money for something they'll place atop their heads only once.

Treacy and I are united in our disapproval of the cheap fascinator at any time, particularly during social occasions. "I started that gig many years ago now," he says, "but now they have become three limp feathers and a tacky flower on the High Street."

Instead, you should really go all out. Especially since you've probably got that money lying around in case of an emergency, like a major plumbing problem, and hats are of equal if not more urgent importance than a clogged toilet.

My advice, for what it's worth (and Treacy's is certainly worth a lot more), is to spend as much as you can possibly manage on your hat, simply because hat making is an intricate art and, when you are wearing something that is the artistic equivalent of an Athena poster rather than an Impressionist masterpiece, people notice. "You'd pay £1,000 a day for a plumber, wouldn't you?" asks Treacy in defense of the high prices, proclaiming that his hats start at £250 and can, since the Princess Beatrice eBay auction, rise to £81,000.

A Flashy, Positively Ghastly Spectacle [WSJ]