Earlier today, some aliens with two-toned hair (all the rage in space these days) decided to take a cruise around the Earth, just for kicks. So they strapped on their rubber-soled shoes — a standard precaution during intergalactic travel, for when the rocket engines make the spaceship floors too hot — and fired ‘er up. But just as they were passing by Earth, a mysterious clunking sound came from the left booster engine. “We’re going down!” yelled the captain, and the crew braced themselves with their skinny alien arms. There was a loud, splintering crash as the spaceship hit a sandy patch of desert right outside of Roswell, New Mexico.
Miraculously, no one was seriously hurt, aside from a few black eyes and singed eyebrows (as everybody knows, alien eyebrows turn orange when they get burned, duh). Pieces from the wreckage — mainly large shards of broken black glass and bits of silver metal — were stuck to their alien bodies, and they sparkled in the bright desert sun. All the aliens who’d forgotten to bring sunglasses immediately regretted it.
“Can I help you?” said a human wearing a wide cowboy belt with a big square buckle. He parked his hot rod and got out, wiping his grease-covered hands on his pants and gesturing to his vehicle apologetically. “I know, it’s so last season,” he said, looking embarrassed. The aliens were unimpressed, and getting sunburned. “Do you have any extra clothes?” asked the alien captain. “We need to cover up our pale alien skin.” The man nodded. “I just picked up my laundry,” he said, opening his trunk and handing them a pile of cowboy shirts and some more cowboy belts. “I’d ask you to try not to get broken glass and stuff all over them, but don’t worry about it.”
The cowboy couldn’t stick around for long, but he was generous enough to offer them a lift. The aliens all gathered their extra battery packs (they had straps for easy portability, just in case of moments like these) and hitched a ride in his last-season hot rod to a nearby gas station, where a group of local Navajo tribesmen were selling rugs and dream catchers. Not wanting to go home without souvenirs, the aliens purchased a few trinkets, including a spectacular purple carpet woven with an abstract Navajo pattern. “Well, I guess it’s time to go home to planet Prada now,” said the captain. “How pumped are you to show everyone this crazy stuff we picked up here?”
