Whole Foods’ master plan for local domination, code-named (no kidding) Project Goldmine, is accidentally released to the public by federal regulators. [NYT]

Jeffrey Chodorow’s war against Frank Bruni continues with another Times ad. [Eater]

Buddhists buy $7,000 worth of eels, frogs, and turtles from Chinatown markets and then release the fortunate animals into the Passaic River. Where they immediately died from toxic shock. (Okay, we made the last part up.) [NYP]

A peek behind the scenes at the kitchen at Hill Country, where the weak dare not tread. [TONY]

The world’s first glatt kosher vending machine has been installed in a New Jersey hospital, and for this they want a medal? [NYT]

Paul Lukas is utterly and completely in love with the Treats Truck: “Ms. Ima's red, white, and blue uniform, which evokes a mix of Good Humor man and mid-1960s flight attendant. Toss in the sweets, and it adds up to an irresistibly nostalgic pitch that appeals to people of all ages.” [NYS]

A strawberry objects to being eaten — or at least it looks that way. [Serious Eats]

The Humane Society attacks Wendy’s for not using cage-free eggs. [Nation's Restaurant News]

The wine program at the newly opened Accademia di Vino is meant, as the name suggests, to give you a wine education. Certainly the waiters are getting one. [NYS]

Looking to take a tour of various farms, wineries, and dairies upstate? You’re in luck! Amtrak just happens to have released a sixteen-page guide to Agritourism. [NYDN]