If you’re just killing time till the next boat outta town, check out these videos— the first is the Onion’s take on a morning-show cooking demo, featuring a cook who teaches you how to make the omelette with a side of graham crackers and car keys that he saw in a dream. How great is it when he tells the host to grab bacon from the bathroom cabinet?

In another Onion video, researchers at the Domino's Pizza Institute near completion of their “30-year study testing the limits of what human beings will eat," which reveals that “decreasing the nutritional value and increasing the visual repulsiveness of their pizza only makes them more popular."

And another venture into the barely edible, care of CollegeHumor, advertises the “weak sauce” (available for only $29.99!) at Chico’s, an obvious Chili’s take-off. Enjoy.

Domino's Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat [The Onion]
Chef Cooks 'Dream Omelet' From Recipe That Came To Him In A Dream [The Onion]
Weak Sauce [College Humor]