Normally when we receive a package with no return address containing nothing but a roll of toilet paper, we assume someone is trying to tell us something. But we knew this was the doing of mystery club El Baño even before we saw the ribbon holding a key and a small card reading “¡Hola!” on one side and “It’s real — elbanyonyc.com” on the other. Down by the Hipster also received a roll this morning, and so did Guest of a Guest. So these people do have some serious backing behind them — they can afford first-class mail and the services of a locksmith! Shall we outline the possibilities?

1) El Baño is a cheesy club that doesn’t realize how cheesy its marketing is.
2) El Baño is a cool club that is using cheesy marketing ironically.
3) El Baño thinks it’s cool for using cheesy marketing ironically, but it’s actually cheesy.
4) El Baño doesn’t exist and this is all a somewhat cheesy, somewhat cool joke.

Any other theories? Share them with us, before we end up crawling the Lower East Side for bodega bathrooms.

Earlier: El Baño Is Hiring, But We’re Still Not Buying It
Is ‘New York’s Most Exclusive Nightlife Experience’ Just a Hoax?