Food Network Magazine has hit our desks, and let’s just say it goes about as deep as the last in-flight magazine we read. The network has, of course, found every imaginable way to plug its talent using an O, The Oprah Magazine–type look — “Food Network stars answer your burning questions,” “Two Food Network chefs are opening new spots,” “some Food Network stars’ new cookbooks.” We’re even told what kind of gadgets to buy Alton, Giada, and Flay (okay, the hamburger Christmas-tree ornament is kind of awesome).

We’ll grant the editors that we were intrigued by certain details about the filming of Iron Chef (announcer Alton Brown leans on Google as well as slides of Japanese foods when, for instance, he doesn’t recognize something Morimoto is cooking), and damned intrigued to hear of a “Fresh Churros” vending machine (à la hot-dog vending machine), though we’re sure the contents are probably about as appetizing as a John McCain Chicken Queso Burger. Are there recipes in here? Oh, yes! 128 of them! But don’t even think about making them till you have the exact Belgian pots that Tyler Florence uses in Ultimate!

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