In case you’re wondering what we want for Christmas here on Grub Street, we’ve actually gone to the trouble of making a list.

• A Grub Street outpost in Las Vegas. Possibly built in conjunction with Hawaiian Tropic Zone, with David Burke as consulting chef.

• A James Beard Rising Star Chef award. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!!

• A bar stool alongside Mario Batali and Courtney Love at the Spotted Pig. Then a hot ice pick with which to blind ourselves.

• A new restaurant which brags about “year-round” ingredients grown “all over the place, and bought from SysCo.”

• A menu that eschews subtitles, credits, translations, geography, or recipes in favor of big, detailed full-color pictures of every dish — just like at Denny’s.

• The permanent destruction of the Cookshack smoker, the last refuge of mediocre urban barbecue cooks. (The Cookshack, a refrigerator-size device that “smokes” with the aid of a handful of electrically warmed chips, is a sad replacement for a real wood smoker, like the ones used at RUB and other major barbecue establishments.)

• An end to “soft openings.” When you’re ready to open, open. Come hard or don’t come at all!

• Three good new Jewish delis, five good new non-gourmet pizzerias, ten good new local Chinese restaurants, and no more gourmet-burger operations.

• Unless, of course, it’s the White Castle on Avenue B we’ve always wished for.

Sales are slipping in restaurant chains everywhere, and not even because of E. coli. [Houston Chronicle]

Back from the dead: Child's restaurant, a booming New York cafeteria chain for most of the twentieth century, is reopening in Coney Island. [NYDN]

For the restaurateur who knows the staff is cheating him, but just can't quite prove it … [Craigslist]

Synergy at work: Glossy restaurant-branded lifestyle magazines for rich diners at posh restaurants. To no one's surprise, David Burke has a hand in this. [NYT]
Related: Hawaiian Tropic Zone's Tina Marino Probably Won't Be Sharing Her Life With You

Red Lobster and Olive Garden jump on the trans-fat banned-wagon [CNN]

From the clandestinely costly to the unabashedly so, the latest industry news is all about the Benjamins.

• Zagat opens the lid on hidden fees like Del Posto's "straight up" martini charge. [Zagat]

• Forbes runs down the country's priciest restaurants (Masa, of course, is No. 1). What they don't tell you is that the picks are apparently limited to one per city — or Per Se, Alain Ducasse, Gilt, Kuruma Zushi, and Daniel would've made the list. [Forbes]

• The Hallo Berlin cart raises its prices (Dictator Special now $9). [Midtown Lunch]

• The Met's Grand Tier Restaurant lets in the unwashed masses (well, Lincoln Center patrons, anyway). [NYS]

• David Burke: Vegas, baby, Vegas! [Nation's Restaurant News]