• Sara Lee may sell pies, but these days it’s starting to sound like an investment bank. The company will reportedly post a $1 billion write-down for the fiscal fourth quarter, due to the rising cost of wheat and the weak economy. [WSJ]

• Meanwhile, and unsurprisingly, McDonald’s is faring well in these times of economic hardship. [WSJ]

• Those special ingredients used to make molecular gastronomic creations, as magical as they are, also show up in everything from sexual lubricants to imitation crabmeat to laxatives. [TONY]

• Restaurateur Luca Marcato will reopen Luca as Cavatappo Grill in August, the same month he opens a second outpost of Cavatappo Wine Bar in Gramercy Park. [Feed/TONY]

• Over the years, Budweiser trampled dozens of local beer brands thanks to its strong marketing, a fact more lamentable than its sale to InBev. [Salon]

• The new Gotham City pizza at Domino's, so named due to the release of The Dark Knight, is just a regular pizza with way too much pepperoni on it. [Slice]

• According to the FDA, we may never find out where the salmonella-laden tomatoes came from, since all of their leads have fallen apart. [NYT]

• At Matsugen, you can get a sea-urchin bukkake. Okay, please make that thought go away now. [Eater]

• A businessman from Virginia who’s lost 60 pounds since December on a McDonald’s-only diet has got be the fast-food chain’s favorite customer ever. [WSJ]

• The Bush administration appealed to Congress yesterday to add $275 million to the Food & Drug Administration’s budget, so that they can try to prevent incidents like this salmonella-tomato situation. [NYT]

• Gael Greene has created an over-the-top, decadent sundae for Serendipity 3 that uses crème fraîche and 24-karat gold as ingredients. But those who indulge in it will have a sound conscience, as proceeds from the sundae’s sale go to Citymeals-on-Wheels. [NYP]

• Fatty Crab chef Zak Pelaccio eats salad with his fingers. [Mouthing Off/Food & Wine]

• For those who hate paying the markup on wines at restaurants, Country is offering bottles at wholesale prices on Monday, meaning you can pay $150 for a selection that would normally sell for $500. [Zagat Buzz]

• Dieting to lose weight is as simple as wearing blue-tinted sunglasses all the time! [Mouthing Off/ Food & Wine]

• Omega-3 fatty acids are being thrown into all kinds of manufactured foods now, from cheese sticks to pasta to mayonnaise. [NYDN]

• Antonios Dragonas, an Upper East Side street vendor with a loyal following, has 42 violations that require him to pay the city $16,865. [NYT]

• The Chick-fil-A–inspired Southern Style Chicken Sandwich at McDonald’s will probably be a very successful item, as is usually the case when one fast-food chain steals ideas from another. [NYT]

• The increase in food prices last month was the greatest one-month hike in eighteen years. [NYP]

• Mariah Carey was very protective of her wedding cake — which was delicious, by the way – on the way to the Bahamas. [Mouthing Off/Food & Wine]

• Not only is there free coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts today, but you can also get a free Southern Style Chicken sandwich at McDonald’s if you buy a drink. [Midtown Lunch]

• Robert De Niro plans to open Nobu Hotel — a Japanese-themed hotel-condo complex housing an outpost of the famous restaurant — in the financial district. [NYP]

• Gordon Ramsay was expected to stop by the launch of Alain Ducasse’s Benoit last night. [Mouthing Off/Food & Wine]

• In case you missed Law and Order: SVU on Tuesday night, Robin Williams played a creep who also happened to be a locavore. What are the writers implying here? [Serious Eats]

• The very study that was used by the Health Department to crusade for mandatory calorie posting in food chains may now be used by defense lawyers to undermine the law’s future. [NYS]

• Some Lower East Siders are not stoked about Bruce Willis opening the Bowery Wine Company, so they’re going to buy a pig, name it Bruce, and then eat it. [NYP]

• Wine bars are everywhere, and, thankfully, they’re a lot less stuffy than they used to be. [NYT]

• Now that you’ve stopped eating mercury-laden bluefin tuna, get ready to part with Chilean salmon. A virus is wiping out millions of the fish that would otherwise be headed for the U.S. If the unsanitary conditions the fish live in won’t make you stop eating it, then the inevitable price increase will. [NYT]

• The inventor of McDonald’s classic Egg McMuffin has passed away at the age of 89. [AP]

• The cheese-mongers have spoken: Switzerland’s Gourmino Gruyère was selected from 2,000 different varieties at the 27th Biennial World Championship Cheese Contest as the finest cheese. The only place it can be purchased in the U.S. is Murray’s Cheese, which, by the way, will be spawning mini-franchises across the country soon. [Insatiable Critic]

You’re going to regret not going to Per Se the last time you had a chunk of change to burn: Thomas Keller’s luxe restaurant has raised prices for both the regular and vegetarian menus to $275 for nine courses. [Bottomless Dish/Citysearch]

Violence continues in the Flatiron club district, as two men were arrested for stabbing a patron and a bouncer at Club Spy after a fight erupted in the VIP room. [NYP]

As part of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s Green the Capitol project, the cafeterias are getting a locavore makeover, with the goal to sell as much locally grown, organic food as possible. [WP]

Hizzoner showed up to a political summit in Oklahoma with Junior’s cheesecake for all. [NYS]

Jennifer LeRoy sees another 30 years of LeRoy ownership at Tavern on the Green, but she isn’t striking a deal with Donald Trump to keep the place. [Insatiable Critic]

When world adventurer Anthony Bourdain found out that Food Network would be re-airing episodes of his series A Cook’s Tour, he was sitting by a pool in Hawaii. His reaction? “This was like being unexpectedly groped and publicly slipped the tongue by the ugliest girl at the prom.” [Anthony Bourdain’s Blog/Travel Channel]

Wondering who actually orders $1,000 bagel or a $28,000 bejeweled sundae? Serendipity 3 owner Stephen Bruce “wouldn’t be surprised if soon we get a call from a Middle Eastern prince or Shah willing to give something sweet to his many wives on his next trip to the city.” [News.Com.Au]
Related: Have White Truffles Finally Gone Too Far?
Breaking: Serendipity 3 Closed by DOH

Since chefs, mixologists, and their restaurants are the newest breed of celebrity, it's about time they started designing clothes. Get dressed at Freemans, Death & Co., and PDT. [Mouthing Off/Food&Wine]

Restaurateur Jimmy Bradley on the source of his managing prowess: “The Art of War by Sun Tzu taught me many leadership and organizational lessons.” [Diner’s Journal/NYT]

The unused Building D of Essex Street Market may get new life. Residents want low-rent housing there; city law compels the building to be used for food-related businesses. [NYT]

Two veterans of Gramercy Tavern and Blue Smoke will open Huckleberry Bar, described as “the bar at your favorite Danny Meyer restaurant” but in East Williamsburg. There will also be British and southern mix of small plates from a 5 Ninth alum, no doubt like the food at your favorite Zak Pelaccio restaurant. [Strong Buzz]

Hard liquor sales on Wall Street are up significantly since the stock market plummeted on August. 16, says one wine shop owner. [NYT]

The Cipriani family may lose the lease on its Fifth Avenue property because of their criminal case. [NYP]

Just like the Moondance Diner, Jade Mountain’s iconic neon sign looks like it’s headed out of town. [Lost City]

Will Goldfarb better get to work on that glyph, because apparently his new restaurant won’t be called Room 4 Dessert for legal reasons. [Eater]
Related: Room 4 Dessert Is Dead, Long Live Room 4 Dessert

Anthony Bourdain jumps on Top Chef’s Hung even harder than he laid into Marcel last season: “‘Flavor’ counts for very little in a competition for ‘Top Chef.’” [Amuse Biatch]
Related: ‘Top Chef’ Biases Finally Out on the Table
‘Top Chef’ Non-Winner Lia on What Went Wrong

Kanye West is a soul-food connoisseur, when he’s not eating out in haute Asian eateries like Spice Market and Philippe. [WSJ]

An unrelated restaurant will open Thursday in the back room of Setagaya and will feature Thai, Japanese, and Malaysian food. [Eat for Victory/VV]
Related: New East Village Ramen Spot Insists It’s More Authentic Than Momofuku

Do you watch Top Chef and wish it were you getting abused by Padma? Here’s your chance: Auditions are being held Sunday at Craftsteak. [Gothamist]
Related: ‘Top Chef’ Non-Winner Lia on What Went Wrong
‘Top Chef’ Biases Finally Out on the Table

Believe it or not, Patricia Yeo doesn’t buy the kitchen material in No Reservations, especially Catherine Zeta-Jones’s spotless whites: “She was so perfect. There was no way she could have a worked a real service.” [NYDN]

Is this curtains for the Hamburglar? McDonald’s announces that they won’t market unhealthy foods to kids under 12. [NRN]

Times Magazine food editor Amanda Hesser runs afoul (again) of the paper’s strict conflict-of-interest policy, this time by reviewing a book by someone who had blurbed one of hers. [Gawker]

Room 4 Dessert, currently closed, will be reopening in a week. [Eater]

The DeMarco family has a special message to the public about Di Fara’s imminent reopening. [Gothamist]