A federal investigation is under way in New York’s kitchens to measure the hazards cooks face when handling an ingredient in artificial butter that is known to cause tissue damage. [Seattle Post Intelligencer]

Frank Bruni thinks Thomas Keller should just stick to what he knows and avoid this casual-dining nonsense he puts on at Ad Hoc. [Diner’s Journal/NYT]

Sexy British TV chef Nigella Lawson has reportedly put on some weight, with one catty source saying, “The result is a butt like a Budweiser horse.” [NYP]

Momofuku Ko may be ready to open in a couple of weeks, but they’ll have to get by with serving only wine and beer, since David Chang’s rep neglected to bring the necessary petitions to the liquor-license hearing last night. [Eater]

Veselka Bowery was also denied a liquor license by Community Board 3 last night, but unlike Momofuku Ko, it doesn’t seem like they’ll ever be granted one, thanks to Daniel Boulud’s nearby liquored-up establishment. [Eater]
Related: Veselka II Is Coming — Let the Burger War Begin

Don’t be afraid to ask your waiter to put your leftovers in a doggie bag. After all, you did pay for that food. [Diner’s Journal/NYT]

Michael “Bao” Huynh has left his post at Bun, saying he couldn’t get along with his partner. Next up: a new noodle shop in Tribeca. [Insatiable Critic]

Burgerphilia: a new term about burger obsessives we won’t be using. [Time]
Related: Daniel Boulud’s Downtown Burger Place Finally Signs the Lease

A Table in Heaven, a documentary that looks at Le Cirque’s move from the Palace Hotel to the Bloomberg building, was screened at the Sundance Film Festival and promises to show Sirio Maccioni’s tendency to exceed the restaurant’s 2 percent cap on free meals. [NYDN]

The Board of Health decided yesterday in a unanimous vote to make all chain restaurants with fifteen or more outlets – approximately 10 percent of the city’s restaurants – post calorie info on their menus starting March 31. RIP, 1,230-calorie triple Whopper with cheese. [CNN]

Laboratory tests run on sushi samples from twenty Manhattan stores and restaurants revealed shockingly high levels of mercury in bluefin tuna, so high that the FDA could technically take the fish off the market. And if you’ve got to have your tuna sushi, you’d best head to Fairway and avoid Blue Ribbon Sushi at all costs. [NYT]

Gourmet editor-in-chief Ruth Reichl is “obsessed with” Momofuku Ssäm Bar, “like everyone else in New York,” according to her. [TONY]

You’re going to regret not going to Per Se the last time you had a chunk of change to burn: Thomas Keller’s luxe restaurant has raised prices for both the regular and vegetarian menus to $275 for nine courses. [Bottomless Dish/Citysearch]

Violence continues in the Flatiron club district, as two men were arrested for stabbing a patron and a bouncer at Club Spy after a fight erupted in the VIP room. [NYP]

As part of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s Green the Capitol project, the cafeterias are getting a locavore makeover, with the goal to sell as much locally grown, organic food as possible. [WP]

Bodegas are keeping themselves free of vermin thanks to their trusty cats. But naturally the Health Department has to give them a hard time about it, even though they admit that the cats are doing a good job. [NYT]

Running Tavern on the Green is something like running an ocean liner – an ocean liner that feeds 700,000 people a year, has a staff of over 500, and makes more than $38 million annually. [AMNY]

Gordon Ramsay wants lights for his backyard soccer field for Christmas. [The Glasgow Herald]

Mix up your holiday charitable giving by entering a raffle for a coffee date with Per Se’s Thomas Keller or Ferran Adrià of Spain’s El Bulli. [NYT]
Related: Ferran Adrià, Molecular Gastronomist—Who, Me? [NYM]

On his No Reservations holiday special, Anthony Bourdain spoke with a veterinarian who explained that foie gras production is not the demonic act it has been portrayed as by animal-rights groups, so eat up! [Eat for Victory/VV]

If Amy Sacco didn’t convince you of the growing synergy between restaurants and real estate, consider that Centovini has just struck a deal with luxe condo Soho Mews that offers not only delivery to the building but also the option to have executive chef Patti Jackson provide in-home cooking. [NYP]

The Post “reports” — as we did yesterday — that the opening of club Touch is delayed and gets the name wrong. Torch? [NYP]
Related: 1OAK and Touch Delayed, Clubland Remains Dormant

“Clogmaster” Cecilia Tidlund reveals her VIP client list — shocker, Batali is on it! Oh, and Thomas Keller, too. See now, this is what we wanted more of in that Per Se tell-all. [NYT]

The Amateur Gourmet on eating with Frank Bruni: “He is measured and thoughtful. He doesn't exclaim, he doesn't pout — he eats, he considers, and then he softly shares his opinion.” Also, he’s skinnier than you’d think. [Amateur Gourmet]

Workers call for a boycott of Ollie’s Noodle Shop, claiming the chain’s president is attempting to blacklist lawsuit organizers. [NYT]

Judges Andrew Knowlton and Donatella Arpaia think John Besh obliterated Michael Symon in the Next Iron Chef finale and that he deserved the title; the latter even accused Ruhlman of casting his “swing” vote for Symon because the chef is his Cleveland comrade. [Ruhlman]

Thomas Keller’s Bouchon has been snubbed by the new Las Vegas Michelin Guide with a whopping zero stars, while Robuchon scored three. [Bloomberg]
Related: Michelin's Madness Drives Ed Levine (and Us) Up a Wall

The owners of the twenty-year-old Italian joint restaurant Baraonda were told they lost their lease, so they took over a new space only to find out they could keep the old one. What to do? Plan a second restaurant. [NYP]

Gordo’s back on Fox TV for another season of Kitchen Nightmares, and he’s looking for a floundering restaurateur to belittle on national TV. [Eater]

It’s hard out there for a chef, according to Thomas Keller: “No longer are critically-acclaimed chefs allowed — as they might have been even ten years ago — to call it a day after opening a single successful restaurant. Instead, he said, food wizards like him are … expected to pen best-sellers, give lectures, judge reality TV shows and host benefits like the one he gave last night.” [NYO]

The massive, multistory Pop Burger at 14 East 58th Street will start serving baby crab cakes and grilled filet mignon in addition to burger boxes by mid-November. [Strong Buzz]
Related: Massive New Pop Burger Popping Up in Midtown

Cooking as chemistry has never had more meaning with the use of “hydrocolloid gums — obscure starches and proteins usually relegated to the lower reaches of ingredient labels on products like Twinkies … helping Mr. Dufresne make eye-opening (and critically acclaimed) creations like fried mayonnaise and a foie gras that can be tied into a knot.” [NYT]

Marco Pierre White claims he never reads reviews, and Thomas Keller knows blogs are out there but doesn't read them. [Epicurious]

These tips for dining in high-end restaurants insist that while some may consider it crude to ask the price of a special, even the owner of Aquavit believes "it’s tacky if the waiter does not volunteer the information without having to ask." [Bottomless Dish/Citysearch]

Cuozzo fantasizes about the possible successes Jeffrey Chodorow could develop if he signs a lease on the enormous space at Broadway and 63rd Street. They include stellar risotto, traditional dim sum, and haute Lebanese — if only he doesn’t “blow it on another howler like Rocco’s or a limping dud like Kobe Club.” [NYP]

A Queens dumpling celebrity, a chef in northern China before transplanting to the U.S., has been persuaded to supply her specialty to TKettle on St. Marks Place. Get there early, though; she’s only agreed to hand-make 1,000 per day for the bubble-tea shop. [Eat for Victory/VV]

Two young female patrons of the Box have been abducted from outside the club and raped on separate occasions in less than a month, and the predator has not been apprehended. [NYP]

Plans in the works for an inn at French Laundry, a butcher shop called Bouchon Boucherie, and, of course, a burger joint, have some critics saying Thomas Keller is spreading himself too thin. [Bloomberg]

Gordon Ramsay may have booted chef Neil Ferguson from the London and severed a decade of ties with the chef because he was being too nice to employees, but Ferguson will have free rein in the kitchen when he opens Allen and Delancey. [Sunday Mirror]

Eater X prepared for his burrito-eating win on Saturday in Maine "by just eating candy for a day," which he said helped clear his system. [Fox News]

Adam Platt and Frank Bruni are no longer banned from Jeffrey Chodorow’s restaurants. Even though, says the restaurateur, Platt “missed the whole point of Wild Salmon.” [Restaurant Girl]
Related: Salmon Cured? [NYM]

In a revealing interview, Marco Pierre White takes a stand against the star-chef game: “Can you imagine: You take your wife out to my restaurant for dinner, and I'm not behind the stove. You find out I'm in America — how would you feel when you've just done $1,200 for dinner? It's a sour taste, isn't it?” [Salon]

Thomas Keller announces that he isn’t really the man at Per Se: “I [speak] as someone who is somewhat detached from it because it is a Jonathan Benno restaurant.” [MSN]

Michael Chow of Mr. Chow is hit with a $5 million lawsuit for skimming tips, demanding “cult-like attention” from staff, and utilizing “degradation as a management technique.” [NYP]

Cooking-school graduates are being crushed by their student-loan debts: “The story is always the same. The school convinces the student they are going to be the next Julia Child or Wolfgang Puck, and the student will sign anything.” [NYT]

The Smith and Wollensky Restaurant Group finally agrees to be bought out by Patina Restaurant Group [NYT]
Related: The Secrets of Steakhouse Riches [Grub Street]

A primer on the “glamour, rivalries, and after-parties“ of the Beard Awards (not as exciting as it sounds) reveals that if you’re a Kansas City restaurateur, you’re screwed. [NYS]

Iacopo Falai discusses his “love affair” with food, fails to explain why he hires haters for waiters. [Cravings]

The Times launches "Dining Briefs," which of course is nothing like Diner’s Journal. [NYT]

Burger King swears off cage eggs and inhumanely treated pork — although it will be a while before its suppliers can catch up with the new policy. [NYT]

New York molecular-gastronomy alert: Spanish neurologist-scientist-chef Dr. Miguel Sanchez Romera is scoping out NYC locations — must have greenhouse. [NYP]

Cafe Fonduta’s ordeal with the Department of Health highlights the overall klutziness of the system. [NYO]