Finally, You May Squeeze the Charmin

Yes, Charmin is going to open a free public restroom in Times Square, which will function from Monday through the end of the year. It will feature twenty stalls (!), a seating lounge (!!), and a cast of attendants cleaning each stall after each use (!!!). To quote the Times, which even provides a mockup façade of the place (though, thankfully, not the interior), "Charmin representatives will be roaming the streets dressed as toilets." Hey, just like the old Times Square!
The restroom, incidentally, will take the place formerly occupied by a different kind of shithouse: the departed Bar Code.

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