• Reelected or not, Alan Hevesi may be on his way out, and soon: The Times reports that governor-elect Eliot Spitzer will most likely be asking the State Senate to remove the wife-chauffeuring comptroller. Spitzer then gets to hand-pick and name his ex-ally's successor. [NYT]
• At least Hevesi reimbursed the state for the misused 88 grand. It's less clear how we get back the $1.3 million NYPD spent fighting bicycles — that's right, bicycles. That's how much money the recent crackdown on the annual Critical Mass bike ride cost, according to an economist who tracks cops' expenditures. [Streetsblog]
• Lest you think the police are only battling hippies on bikes, the NYPD issued a somewhat bizarre, 2002-style scare statement telling business owners to be "on the lookout" for female jihadists who can "hide explosives by faking pregnancy or sweet-talk their way past security officers." Finally, a glorious merging of xenophobia and misogyny. Better check if their breasts are real, too! [NYDN]
• In a lurid Post front-pager, a Brooklyn man caught a cemetery caretaker urinating into a vase on his grandmother's grave and got into a scuffle with him. The Post then proceeds to piss puns all over story, including "'Relief' Grief" and "Mourner Pee-ved." [NYP]
• The rival Daily News, meanwhile, does an impressive job smearing Rupert Murdoch — and by extension the Post — with Nicole Brown Simpson's blood; at least four indignant items are devoted to the Fox TV special and HarperCollins book wherein O.J. flippantly what-ifs the murders. [NYDN]