Name: Jessica Joffe
Age: 25
Job: "I write, mostly." Also: Girl about town, model, new face of Uniqlo jeans.
Neighborhood: West Village

Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
Patrick Bateman.

What's the best meal you've eaten in New York?
Any afternoon at Economy Candy.

In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
Worry and make tea. In reverse order.

Where do you get your coffee?
My kitchen.

What's the last thing you saw on Broadway?
Several rats, enormous; one dove, white; and cabs, yellow.

Do you give money to panhandlers?
If there are special skills involved, always.

What's your drink?
Tea, Yorkshire.

How often do you prepare your own meals?
Often enough.

What's your favorite medication?
Why pick favourites?

What's hanging above your sofa?
My imaginary collection of Saul Steinberg watercolours and one de Kooning Woman.

How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
You can never spend too much money on a good haircut. It renders the other stuff redundant.

When's bedtime?
Between midnight and 5 a.m.

Brunch: pro or con?
Excuses to eat, whatever time of day, should never be considered a con.

What's your thread count?
That's none of your business.

What do you hate most about living in New York?
Nothing.

What's your brand of jeans?
Raven, Earnest Sewn.

When's the last time you drove a car?
I don't.

Who should be the next president?
Knight Landesman, Art Forum's impresario.

Times, Post, or Daily News?
None of the above. Artsandlettersdaily.com.

Yankees or Mets?
Sorry?!

What makes someone a New Yorker?
Complete disregard for traffic signals and a sort of ruthless ambition that might also be interpreted as intelligence.