As word leaked out that 50,000 Manhattanites were to be zoned out of the exclusive 10021 Zip Code on the Upper East Side—have that mail forwarded to 10075, Mayor Mike!—the city played by the numbers. The tabloids devoted 24/7 coverage and 72-point headlines to Naomi Campbell's sanitation gig at Pier 36. (Day-two stories zeroed in on her $1,000 Christian Louboutin boots and $1,500 Azzedine Alaïa coat.) The State Legislature passed a bill moving the 2008 presidential primary up to 2/5, a move that should aid both 9/11 hero Rudy Giuliani (whose wife, Judi, revealed that Rudy is her third husband) and seven-year New York resident Hillary Clinton. Clinton was attacked as 1984's Big Brother in a Web ad orchestrated by YouTuber ParkRidge47, who was 86'd from his company, which is doing work for Barack Obama.

The third cop in the Sean Bell shooting, who fired a mere 4 shots (versus 31 and 11 for his colleagues), pondered requesting a trial for one. Faced with a $4 billion surplus, the city budget office demanded 5 percent budget cuts in 100 percent of the city's agencies. Staten Island was named the No. 1 party borough for the 18-and-under crowd, which has a fondness for Bacardi 151. An irate man claimed 35-mm. legend Peter Bogdanovich pocketed $100,000 earmarked to get his one and only son a job as the director's assistant. The $4.49 inflation-fighter special at Papaya King—two dogs and a sixteen-ounce soda—was KO'd after inspectors found 88 health violations at the 86th Street restaurant. A study found apartment prices in 212 to be up 200 percent in ten years, averaging a cool $1.3 million. The recall of 91 varieties of pet food had nine out of ten bichon frise owners frantically dialing 911. Macy's is considering adding to its three-barge fireworks lineup on July 4, which would make the show visible from West 23rd. The new Airbus A380, with a capacity of 853, landed at JFK. A trio in Jersey City knocked over a Victoria's Secret store, nabbing $12,000 in 34Bs and other unmentionables. And Brooklyn-born Calvert DeForest, whose 12:30 appearances from 30 Rock as Larry "Bud" Melman helped usher in the Letterman golden age of the early eighties, died at 85.