So remember the mysterious, quasi-postmodern Unnamed Event With Lou Reed from last week? Big news! Turns out the thing did have a name; it was "Syracuse University awards Lou Reed with the George Arents Pioneer Medal." (The medal is apparently Syracuse's highest alumni honor. More interesting, Lou Reed is also apparently a Syracuse alum.) But we also learned that Reed might have more than just an alumni award coming to him. Why was Bono there, we asked the U2 front man. "Because I am in a state of genuflection," he told us from behind his sunglasses. "I would carry Lou Reed's luggage; I probably have carried his luggage! There are about nine or ten U2 songs that he deserves royalties for that I don't think he's ever received." Um, wow. Is that really something you're supposed to admit? We hope Reed's into that whole debt-forgiveness thing, too. —Genevieve Leon

Earlier: It's Not a Lou Reed Event Without Andy Rooney