The Times' crosstown-bus-riding Metropolitan Diary is a frequently mocked fount of quaintness, and this week, as they say, was no exception. What comical confusion befell women of a certain age? A terrifying one! It seems that during a recent performance of In the Heights, the entire front row "let out a shriek": They thought they saw a filthy, furry rat scurry across the stage. But it wasn't! It was merely the "bobbing black curls of the orchestra conductor at his subterranean podium." Oh, dastardly non-blonde, non-straight hair. Next week in delightful urban misunderstandings: Fantasia briefly mistaken for a "giant panther" on the set of The Color Purple.

Metropolitan Diary [NYT]