And what [owner Simon Hammerstein] absolutely doesn’t want is for the Box to be known as a club. “It’s a dinner theater!” Simon interjects sternly whenever you mention the C-word. “It could be the hottest club in New York,” adds Lucas, one of 30-odd investors. “But if that’s all it is, then it is a failure. If he turns it into a club, then I’m going to kick his ass.”

Last night Radar magazine fêted its seventh issue at Hammerstein's non-club. The invitation said the party would run from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. It was a pleasant affair. A few minutes after ten, we tried to order another drink. We expected the free bar to be closed; we pulled out our AmEx to open a tab. The barman would not accept it. No, no, we said, we know the open bar is closed, and we'll pay. We were not permitted to. We were not cool enough. Our money was not good enough. We were to leave. We did.

Sounds an awful lot like a club to us, no? Oh, also: We will never set foot in that place again.

Related: What's in the Box? [NYM]