What Does Shelly Have Up His Sleeve?

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1. The Lower East Side is dangerously low on pickles and herring; the LES Preserved Foods Preservation Act is in order.
2. He loves to mess with people's vacations, just as a test of loyalty.
3. He read the last page of the leaked Harry Potter and has no one to discuss it with.
4. He just brainstormed a law, retroactive to 2001, that would make it illegal for media-company owners to run for mayor.
5. He needs help getting the gigantic bug out of his ass.
Breakthrough? [Daily Politics/NYDN]

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