Bronx: A city inspector went to the basement of 1912 Holland Avenue to check on a hot-water heater, but he ended up contacting the police because he found a crazy laboratory, complete with vials of acid, and preserved bones and organs. As one resident said, "If these walls could talk, they'd probably be screaming." [Gothamist]
Cobble Hill: A planned new building next to the incoming Brooklyn Trader Joe's has caused a kerfuffle – developers want to build higher than zoning permits, but Borough president Marty Markowitz doesn't want to set a bad precedent. Mm. We're not sure "kerfuffle" is the word he'd use. [Brownstoner]
Downtown Brooklyn: The city has decided to use its powers of eminent domain to seize 21 downtown Brooklyn lots that are said to have been a part of the Underground Railroad. Oh, and the city is also about to spend $2 million to commemorate abolitionist activity in the area. [McBrooklyn]
Forest Hills: A planned shopping center in the hood hasn't received approval, despite signage to the contrary. The suspicious civic association, naturally, have their caftans in a twist. [Forest Hills 72]
Soho: A giant, boxers-clad poster of Michelangelo's David dominates Lafayette, trying to get you to donate sperm. Because, you know, Lafayette has the best daddies. [Copyranter]