August is a month of small frustrations: It always rains when you don't have an umbrella, the F train never comes except just before you get to the platform, and the inside of your jeans becomes a tropical swamp. High on the list of things that make us mad this time of year are the inconsiderate subway behaviors of our fellow New Yorkers. All we want to do is sit in the air-conditioning and relax, okay? Today Second Avenue Sagas takes on one notorious subway offender — the leg spreader. You know him (it's almost never a her), the dude who takes up too many seats because his thighs are too expansive to squeeze together? Well, American subway-etiquette expert (and author of the book There's No 'I' in Carriage) Martin Merton has the solution – cover the offend gentleman's groin with superglue and corn, and then release wild chickens to attack him. Don't buy it? There's a helpful video explaining how well it works. Check out his other videos here, just because nothing says "summer" like wishing subtle tortures on thy neighbor. (The videos were made in Australia — see if you can catch the late Steve Irwin's terrifying daughter Bindi in her acting debut!)

It Just Ain't that Big! [Second Avenue Sagas]