Newspapers face all sorts of problems, not insignificant among them that younger people don't so much read the paper. Then today we saw the cover story of the "Metro" section, "Welcome, Students. Now Watch It," geared toward the college students — and, we should think, potential new Times readers — newly arrived in the city. It includes such useful tips as "Don't fall asleep on the subway," "Don't play chess for money with the hustlers in Washington Square Park," and "Don't drink too much beer and use the street as a toilet." Plus, this gem, from the end of the "Don't light up in a bar" tip: "And besides, if you’re not 21, you shouldn’t be in a bar anyway." We have no idea why "Make sure to clean your room" and "Just say no" weren't included as tips, but, yeah, we think we understand why kids don't read the paper.

Welcome, Students. Now Watch It [NYT]