Last night we sent a reporter to Elton John's AIDS Foundation benefit with a mission: Find Anderson Cooper and ask him about his bodacious new biceps. Bennett Marcus, our intrepid interviewer, took on the task and confronted Cooper about his ginormous guns. Below is what transpired:

Your biceps are really big lately. How are you working out?
“Wow. What is my workout routine — I’ve never been asked that question! Um, I don’t know [Ed. note: At this point, Cooper appeared to be dying of flustration.], I’ve just been … working with a trainer and uh, I don’t know, lifting a little weight, and running a little. I don’t know.

Is that new? The trainer and the rest?
Uh, you know, I just turned 40, so yes, I’m trying to be a little bit healthier now and trying to eat a little bit more sensibly. And also, with traveling so much, you know, it’s tough when you’re in Iraq to do anything, so I try to work out when I’m here. [Ed. note: Best. Quote. Ever.] This is really … I sound ridiculous.

They gave me this question, I’m not kidding. [Ed. note: Sure, sure, blame the gay boss.]
Wow, well, I didn’t know that New York Magazine would notice my biceps. My trainer will be thrilled. I’m going to pass this along to him. His name is TJ. He’ll be very excited.

Of course we noticed, Anderson. It's like you took Angelina Jolie's breasts and hung them from your shoulders! (Except somehow you made them whiter.) Don't tell us you didn't want us to look. Now can we talk about this TJ guy? You don't happen to have his phone number, do you?

Earlier: Despite Big Guns, Anderson Loses Grip on Tapes

More quotes and pictures from the Osbournes, Tommy Hilfiger, and others at the Elton John AIDS Foundation Benefit Party Lines.