When we heard that an anti-Clinton video is racking up Dick in a Box–type numbers in online views (1.4 million on GoogleVideo, 350,000 on YouTube), we figured that the author, Peter Paul, had gotten his hands on photos of Hillary high-fiving Bill over Vernon Jordan’s corpse or personally strangling Socks. Imagine our disappointment when the incriminating clip turned out to be a long, whiny hate letter from a spurned supporter: a video equivalent of what Jezebel.com terms a Crap Email From a Dude.

Peter Paul is a very rich bearded geek who's made hundreds of millions collaborating with Stan Lee and decided to funnel some of the cash to Hillary's 2000 Senate campaign (not out of altruism, mind you: He had an eye on hiring Bill Clinton as a “rainmaker” for his comic-book empire once the president left office). So he hobnobbed and hosted fund-raisers and showered the Clintons with money — while forgetting to mention he had four criminal convictions under his belt, two of them for fraud. When that news broke, the Clintons, naturally, ran as far and as fast as they could from the tainted connection and, like any sane politician would, pretended to barely know Paul at all. Paul unsuccessfully sued, claiming the power couple deceived him, “stole his Japanese partner,” and damaged his company — and had planned it all along!

But the main cause of his fury appears to be the snub itself. The thirteen-minute video proceeds to make the case, photo by photo, sound-bite by sound-bite, that the Clintons knew Paul, said Paul's name in public, shook hands with Paul, posed for photo ops with Paul, exchanged guffaws with Paul, and sent him “handwritten letters professing undying friendship.” This breathtaking stuff is a trailer for an even longer film, Hillary Uncensored, although we have no idea who'd want to sit through that in a theater. (If you do, by all means: It's playing at the Metropolitan Club tonight; come back and tell us what the crowd was like.) Since the trailer feels like getting a rambling personal earful from Peter Paul, we imagine the hour-long documentary must be like, um, going on a date with him.

Hillary Uncensored Rough Cut Trailer [The Hillary Clinton Accountability Project]