Let’s dispense with the obvious first: Hide your doddering lawyer friends! Wear bright colors! Stay indoors! Yes, Dick Cheney is going hunting in upstate New York, and he’s going to shoot you in the face. But what else? Beyond a pile of animal (if we’re lucky) corpses, what effect will the vice-president’s day out at the Clove Valley Rod & Gun Club, planned for next Monday, have on Dutchess County? The Poughkeepsie Journal provides awesomely detailed, and no less awesomely deadpan, local color.

Motorists should plan for road closures and considerable associated delays on Interstate 84 and Route 9 Sunday night, and possibly on Route 55 and again on Interstate 84 on Monday. Depending on what time he travels Monday morning, his trip could disrupt school bus service in affected areas. George Beckwith, the Arlington school district's director of transportation, said he was not aware of the visit and there was little the district can do to prepare. “There is nothing we can change,” Beckwith said.

“No hope,” he then didn’t add. “Save yourselves. It’s too late for me. Go.”

Cheney Jaunt May Snarl Local Traffic [Poughkeepsie Journal]