Aw, poor Ann Coulter. As if it's not enough that she's surrounded by liberal heathens up here in New York, she even gets hassled down at her place in Florida. Today the Smoking Gun has a police report that details the disturbing (yet a kind of hilarious) southern hospitality Coulter received at her place in Palm Beach before she had her address take off the books. First, there was the time she heard someone screaming "Ann Coulter is a big asshole" near her house. Then there was the note, which an earnest cop described in detail:

Coulter showed me the greeting card which was pink and white in color and had the words "Go Fuck Yourself" printed on the face… The greeting card was manufactured by Chronicle Books, 2006 Julie Jackson cross-stitch note cards. This card had a pink border with an old-fashioned bronze-colored frame. The inside of the card was written in cursive, in blue ink, most likely with a ball-point pen, you self-aggrandizing, two words not clear, sociopath!! the only things left after a nuclear war are you and cockroaches, stay out of bright lights with no makeup, you are so ugly you could turn a train up a dirt road … the envelope had a pink floral appearance to it.

The card wasn't signed, and so Palm Beach police have apparently been doing their CSI thing and checking fingerprints. Which seems a little pointless, considering that about half of America could have sent it.

Ann Coulter Addresses Space Invaders [Smoking Gun]