Um. Sloane Crosley seems like a very nice person, but she might need to take out a little restraining order on reporter Leon Neyfakh, whose nakedly loving portrait of the Vintage publicist turned author in today's Observer made us so uncomfortable we actually had to read the whole second half of it whilst peeking through our fingers. Some highlights:

• Sloane is "universally admired."

• "As well groomed as she is well read — the first time we met she wore jeans and a delicate red shirt with frilly lace at the front not unlike what you might see on a very elegant pirate — Ms. Crosley is the most popular publicist in town."

• Ms. Crosley is "kind of like that other Sloane, the beautiful, sly and assertive one played by Mia Sara in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off."

• As a publicist, she "manages to be heard above the racket, recommending her writers and titles to others with a gentle caress."

• "This gives her grace, and people take notice."

The Most Popular Publicist in New York [NYO]