When we received this card from the Fox Business Network today, our first instinct was to recoil in horror. Lord, have mercy! we said to ourselves (because sometimes the voice in our heads sounds a little like a southern grandmother). That pack of dogs is trying to tear that poor, defenseless Christmas tree limb from limb! Then we realized, They're not dogs. They're foxes! For Fox Business News! So does the tree then symbolize CNBC? Wow, that is sick. Look at that long, horrible tongue on that one — Oh. That's not a tongue. That's a…bugle? Finally, we got it: The foxes are supposed to be, like…angels. Which makes the golden Fox Business logo at the top…God? Then, slowly, we opened the card…

To the tune of "Here Comes Santa Claus"

Here comes FBN, here comes FBN
Onto the business news scene
We are here to inform our viewers
Who are living on Main Street
Peter and Alexis give us Money for Breakfast
They help us with our day
FBN gives you news you can use
In a new and interesting way

Here comes FBN, here comes FBN
Onto the business news scene
We've got Neil Cavuto, Liz Claman, David Asman
Nicole P. and Jenna Lee
Cheryl and Tom and Dagen and Stuart
Our anchors try their hardest by far
FBN will get you through the day
To Cody and Rebecca at the bar

Here comes FBN, here comes FBN
Onto the business news scene
Wishing you a happy holidays
And a wonderful new year.