Boerum Hill: Parents who shelled out $1,200 for a preschool found that it was full of toxic hazards, running without a license and bouncing teachers' checks since last summer. That's so not the New Brownstone Brooklyn! [Brooklyn Eagle]
Bushwick: In which a bored cop mistakes a narcissistic gay Russian taking pictures of himself for a terrorist. Sounds like the start of a porn vid. [BushwickBK]
Harlem: Will a possible rezoning of 125th Street into towers of luxury condos and chain stores be a good thing for Harlem, or "Katrina-fication done by the swipe of a pen"? [VV]

Maspeth: Can you believe the adorable 1849 St. Saviour's parsonage, which looks like a Bavarian Hansel and Gretel hangout, is allegedly being demolished as we speak? Holy crumb trail! [Queens Crap]
Times Square: The new TKTS booth is going up, complete with big glass beams that'll "support seating for 1,000." Huh? You actually get to sit down, bleacher style, while you wait on line for your tickets? We don't get this. [Curbed]
Upper East Side: The Unbearable Boringness of Being continues to take its psychic toll on UESers, as evidenced by yet another ugly brawl at an area New York Sports Club. [78thand2nd]
Williamsburg: Traffic lights and crosswalk signals are finally coming to the helter-skelter intersection of Bedford and North 6th. Insert your tired Billyburg-hipster crack here … we've run dry. [I'm Not Sayin']