Friends, we have sad news. Last night at the GQ Man of the Year awards in Los Angeles, a member of Intel's West Coast bureau — okay, fine, kidding, we don't have a West Coast bureau; it was a USC journalism student named David Davin — intercepted auteur and art legend Julian Schnabel and asked him, quakingly, about his West Village development, Palazzo Chupi. Occupied by Schnabel, Richard Gere, and Credit Suisse cheese William J.B. Brady, the ginormous pink building is not only a monument to midlife crisis, it's the set of Intel's favorite (pretend) reality show, Schneighbors, which is why we were so excited when we heard that Bono had bought one of the two remaining condos. But we couldn't find any records of the sale, so…did he? "No, Bono is not going to be there," Schnabel said. He was wearing green sneakers, a bathrobe, and yellow-tinted glasses, and as he shuffled away he seemed oblivious to the fact that, 3,000 miles away, our hearts were shattering into a million pieces. But then we looked on the bright side: Could not Bono's loss be Salman Rushdie's gain?

Related: Look Who's Schneighbors!