Bill Clinton will get $20 million when he divorces Los Angeles supermarket magnate and (alleged) Radar owner Ron Burkle, his business partner of six years, The Wall Street Journal told us this morning. The reason for the split, it seems, is that Burkle's Yupaica company, for which Clinton was an adviser, can't seem to stay away from people who could harm Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign. For example? Italian developer Raffaello Follieri and Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum, the ruler of Dubai and one of the owners behind Xinhua Finance Media Ltd., a Beijing–based news company with close ties to the Communist government of China, which just gave Yucaipa a little cash infusion. Basically, Burkle loves sketchy investments like Eric Benet loved sex with groupies, and at this point in the election and his life, Clinton can't take the drama. "I love you, but I need to take care of myself," we imagine him saying to Burkle. "No more drama in my life." Despite Burkle's transgressions, the breakup appears to be amicable: A Clinton spokesperson speaks to the Journal not of a SPLIT!!! but "an appropriate transition" out of their business relationship, and Burkle remains a finance chair on Hillary's campaign. Clinton, after all, understands promiscuity.

Bill Clinton May Get Payout of $20 Million [WSJ]
Related: Clinton To Burkle: It's Not You, It's Me