As far as Mayor Bloomberg's presidential ambitions are concerned, we are gluttons for punishment. He keeps toying with our emotions, teasing us, and leading us on — and we come back for more. It's like we're Carrie to Bloomberg's Mr. Big, except, you know, it matters. This weekend, for example, when Bloomberg announced his attendance at a bipartisan political conference in Oklahoma, we chewed our fingernails into a pulpy purple mush. And today is no different. When Hizzoner lashed out at the current presidential candidates in a press conference (and did you know there is some caucus thing going on in Iowa tomorrow?), we rubbed the sand out of our eyes, wiped the spit off our chin, and jumped to attention. During a chat with reporters at City Hall about reduced teen smoking rates in the city, the Observer reports that Bloomberg bitchslapped at the current field of runners on the topics of free trade and health care:

"Some people are in favor of free trade and then walk away from it. It's no one candidate. Don't say Bloomberg is criticizing A, B, or C on either side. It's all of them. And I think that's the frustration you see among a lot of independently minded people from both sides and the middle of the aisle, and that's why I'm thrilled to be asked to participate in the conference in Oklahoma."

"Domestically, health care, some people, in all fairness, have taken stabs at it. One guy had a plan, we don't know whether it'll work but then he walks away from his own plan," Bloomberg said during a Q&A with reporters in City Hall today to announce reductions in teen smoking rates in the city.

"Others just say, 'I'm going to get more health care for everybody and nobody has to pay,'" he said.

"And you can go right down the list. Congress has been unwilling to come up with an immigration policy that makes some sense. Other than some xenophobic stuff that some people are espousing, which nobody thinks is serious and everybody understands would be terribly damaging to our country."

And you, and you, and you! You're gonna love meeeeee……

Bloomberg Blasts Presidential Candidates [NYO]
Earlier: Bloomberg: Primary? What Primary?