Would you still live here on a $35,000 salary?
I couldn't afford the bug spray at 35k.

What's the last thing you saw on Broadway?
Young Frankenstein.

Do you give money to panhandlers?
Only when they are actually handling pans. It's a lost art.

What's your drink?
As a conservative, I guess it's what you'd expect: I drink the blood of small people who are different than me.

How often do you prepare your own meals?
If by "you" you mean "my people," then, yes, all the time.

What's your favorite medication?
I'm a recovering alcoholic, so…all of them.

What's hanging above your sofa?
Just to drive Central Park West crazy, I have furs. Lots and lots of furs.

How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
What they all charge in New York City.

When's bedtime?
Midnight. The better question would be, When is sleep time?

Which do you prefer, the old Times Square or the new Times Square?
Why not combine them? Introducing Disney's Crack Hooker and the Beast!

What do you think of Donald Trump?
Who is responsible for the hair? Does he admit to being "the stylist"?

What do you hate most about living in New York?
The cost.

Who is your mortal enemy?
Almost everyone between 63rd and 86th Streets.

When's the last time you drove a car?
Last weekend.

Who should be the next president?
Teddy Roosevelt.

Times, Post, or Daily News?
Unfortunately, all of them.

Where do you go to be alone?
The bathroom.

What makes someone a New Yorker?
Paying the never-ending city tax.