Bowery: No sooner had this lovable bum moved out of the street box he lived in and into a proper $300-a-month room than his troubles began. [NYT]
Bushwick: Behold the new 'swhick-specific haiku trend: "Dude with the corn rows/Stop selling crack, you scumbag/Sell good pot instead." [BushwickBK]
Coney Island: The fancy exterior redo for the New York Aquarium may have to be, uh, scaled back due to a planned $64 million exhibition on sharks. [Coney Island via Curbed]

Lower East Side: Luxury-rental tower the Ludlow is ruining this longtime LESer's walk to work. [The Jose Vilson]
Upper West Side: That empty retail space on the corner of Broadway and 87th? The Zabar brothers are co-owners, and (prepare to gasp) they refuse to rent it to a bank! It may be (prepare to sigh somewhat deflatedly) a Uniqlo or a Ricky's instead. [NYPress]
Washington Heights: Blasphemous images of "Prophet Muhammod" [sic] are showing up here. "But, hey, at least he's smiling." [Copyranter]
Woodside: Holy anti-Semitic tamale, Batman! We heartily agree that somebody needs to tell K*ke's Mexican restaurant that they might need to rethink their name. (Does k*ke mean something in Spanish?) [Let's Meet Up in Queens]