JPMorgan and Bear Stearns were strangers when they entered into their hastily arranged marriage last week, and they're still getting to know each other: "It's like dating after the wedding," one JPMorgan executive told The Wall Street journal today. And theirs is a fragile relationship: Already, a group of investors are threatening their union by filing a suit to stop the deal. Will they succeed? Will they fail? And what about the children? Everything's happening so fast! To help you sort through the madness, we've rounded up some of the latest news from the Bear Stearns fallout.

• JPMorgan has security guards stationed at Bear's Madison Avenue headquarters. [WSJ]

• Some people are still making money; especially on eBay, where a armpit-stained blue men's T-shirt with the Bear Stearns logo on it recently went for $151.56, or roughly the price of fifteen shares in the firm. “I thought I would get $20 for it and be happy. This is pretty crazy,” said the Ohio-based seller. [DealBook/NYT]

• CNBC ratings went way up due to the Stearns fall: last week was the
station's best week in five years. [TVNewser]

• Oh, and CNBC's Charlie Gasparino decided he'd write a book on the whole mess and sold it to HarperCollins for $400,000. [NYP]

• But you know who still haven't figured out how to profit off this thing? Bear employees, who are so depressed, they can barely make it to their favorite watering hole. "Where am I supposed to go on vacation now?" one says to the Observer. "Times Square?" [NYO]