Donnie Walsh In As Knicks President, Isiah Thomas Also Still In... As Water Boy?

Photo: Getty Images
"Now I know there's been a lot of speculation about Isiah. I have known Isiah for a long time and have great respect for his knowledge of the game. I think he is a great basketball mind. I'm not going to judge anything from afar. I have told him that we are going to sit down and talk in the coming days, and then we'll go from there. I think he's got the skills to help this franchise. "
Walsh says he doesn't know whether that role for Isiah will be as coach. But he will probably keep him on in some capacity.
Okay, we’re fine with Isiah finishing out this miserable season as long as we imagine the last eight games as a sort of updated, well-paid version of getting thrown in the stocks and flayed. But if Walsh is actually considering keeping Thomas on past this year, there are only a few “capacities” in which we’d still feel comfortable utilizing Isiah. Namely:
• Official MSG bathroom-break seat warmer
• Clown, MSG dunk-tank and tomato-throwing fund-raisers
• Chief of scouting operations, Antarctica and Polar Regions
• Zack Randolph's personal strategist for all pregame NBA Live 2008 locker-room tournaments
• Human napkin dispenser
• Interoffice relations and sensitivity-training coordinator
• Foam-finger tester
• Corporate-retreat campfire storyteller
• Chief popcorn consultant
• Resident abject lesson in failure
• Point guard
What did we miss?
—Amos Barshad

How Obama Can Take Back the Presidency
Why the Abortion Wars Will Never End
Reverend Tim Keller and the Sins of Yuppiedom
Why the Yankees Need Matt Holliday 