You know on the weekends when you’re out wandering the streets drunk and you look around for the Empire State Building to, you know, orient yourself and figure out what the hell part of the city you’re in? This weekend just look for the extremely gay purple, pink, and white building. Yes, ma'am! It's going to be a hot tranny mess. Our city’s favorite phallus will be awash in pastels in honor of Mariah Carey’s latest album, E=MC², and her eighteenth No. 1 hit, “Touch My Body.” It’s going to sparkle, people. Just like Mimi herself.

Mariah attended a lighting ceremony at 1 p.m. this afternoon where she flipped the switch to light up a mini-replica of the edifice. Why they decided to have a lighting ceremony during the day is beyond us. But we like to imagine that there occurred some sort of Zoolander-like scenario where she saw the model and smashed it to the floor screaming, “I thought the Empire State Building was supposed to be tall! What is this? A building for ants? How will people be able to appreciate my fabulousness when they can’t even fit inside the building!?” —Noelle Hancock

Mariah to Take Over Empire State Building [Popwatch/EW]