John McCain is going to be on Saturday Night Live this weekend! He's proven to be pretty funny on the other shows he's been on, but we're interested to see how he does with the young whippersnappers on SNL. Below, we imagine what it would be like if he joined "Weekend Update" for Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers's hilarious "Really" segment:

Poehler: Really, China and Burma? You thought your devastating natural disasters could distract American media from the Democratic primary? Next time try a little harder, guys. Really.
McCain: Really, Life Alert? You really just have to push a button and help magically appears? Really?
Seth Meyers: Really, Vito Fossella? You think you can run for reelection and win? Really? The only thing about you with staying power these days is your baby-making machinery. Really.
McCain: Really, Cindy? You really think you're not a cunty painted trollop? Really? Why did you think I married you?
Poehler: Wow. Really? You went there?
McCain: Really.

Time was, professional robbers all dressed alike. They wore black capes, eye masks, gloves, and accessorized with long, curly mustaches that they twirled with villainous élan. When mustaches and capes fell out of fashion, the robbers moved on to a more streamlined silhouette: black or army-green ski masks, paired with jeans or other dark, undistinguishable separates. A gleamy weapon that read "robber" often completed the look. But now it appears that three maverick robbers have chucked basic black in favor of a more eclectic style. If, as they say, three is a trend, they could end up radically reinventing the look! Take "LI 'Indy'" as the papers call him, the past robber who, over the past two years has been spotted taking money off banks in Manhattan and Long Island wearing "a fisherman's floppy hat," or, alternately, a fedora or a turban. "He may also have been wearing a fake beard," the Post reports. Risky! Fabulous! He's not the only one mixing it up. Another as yet-unknown robber was caught on camera in January wearing "a powder-blue sheepskin bomber cap with earflaps, rectangular glasses, a red scarf, a green military jacket, dark pants and dark shoes." Sort of Williamsburg meets Alpine chalet, no? We love. And for classic style, let us not forget the recently arrested Staten Island Ninja trio, whose smart uniforms of black face cloths and nunchuckus referenced Kabuki depictions of eighth-century Japanese warriors. And they say all the creative people are leaving New York. Pish-posh. Someone call "Sunday Styles."

LI 'INDY' A VILLAINOUS 'RAIDER' [NYP]