Beyoncé's reps awesomely tease "Page Six" over pregnancy rumors. ABC's John Stossel wants to legalize marijuana, cocaine, heroin, and crack. Eighty-eight-year-old Manhattan District Attorney Robert Morgenthau wants another term in office. Lily Allen is acting like a drunken topless fool in Cannes. LL Cool J lifted weights for five straight hours at Club H on 34th Street, supposedly because he has a Men's Fitness cover to shoot. Sex and the City fans can stop sending Cosmos to Kristin Davis, because she's actually a recovering alcoholic.

Spike Lee called out Clint Eastwood for not having any black soldiers in Flags of Our Fathers. Interview magazine has a whole bunch of "salacious" facts about Andy Warhol in their 80th-anniversary edition, like the time he considered making silk-screened condoms. Jessica Alba and Cash Warren got married at the Beverly Hills courthouse. Cindy McCain got a $95 wash and blow-dry at Julien Farel Salon and left a "very generous tip." Ivana Trump "forgot" to pay a $145,216 property tax on her $10 million Palm Beach estate but has since sent in a check. Hulk Hogan's son Nick is not handling his eight-month DUI term in a California county jail well. Ed Westwick got mobbed by 16-year-old girls at Pop Burger. Shania Twain's fourteen-year marriage might have ended because husband Robert Lange had an affair with her assistant. Ethan Hawke was turned down for jury duty on Monday but then got a call back. Former Hilton boyfriends Stavros Niarchos, Kevin Connolly, and Brandon Davis all hung out at Rose Bar. Harrison Ford's whip in Indiana Jones costs $1,000, can be snapped at 700 mph, and could slice a person in two at fourteen feet. (Seriously.)