It seems like only yesterday that Lydia Hearst was personally inviting us to go hear boyfriend Joe Barney perform with his band. But the whims of model-socialite-designer-humanitarian-actresses are fickle, and today's "Page Six" tells us that she's moved on! How far has she moved on? To Iraq, that's how far. Turns out that she's fallen head over pasties for the hot brother of her gay BFF, Heatherette designer Traver Rains. Matt Rains is, fantastically, a helicopter pilot. How Gossip Girl appropriate! He'll be deployed in Iraq in a few weeks. Even though the two only got together at the Life Ball, which was a couple of days ago, Lyds is already planning a USO tour to the Middle East so she can be near him. And to think, she only changed her Facebook status to "It's Complicated" last week! That is complicated. For example, what will she do to entertain the troops? Channel her mother? Or will it involve the outfit she barely wore to the Life Ball? Because we're pretty sure that's frowned upon in Muslim countries.

LOVE & WAR [NYP]